


give and take so we can go far away

by silverinerivers



Category: The Social Network (2010)
Genre: Canon Related, Character Study, During Canon, Gen, Introspection, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:21:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22410220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverinerivers/pseuds/silverinerivers
Summary: Mark takes first and gives second; Eduardo wants the tides to turn in his favour.(aka the peaks and valleys of Eduardo's life, from the beginning to what feels like the end)
Relationships: Eduardo Saverin & Mark Zuckerberg
Kudos: 8





	give and take so we can go far away

What does it mean to be enough?  
  
Eduardo was brought up to aim higher, to take things into his own hands. If the odds were not in his favour, he would study and learn and make it work. He was smart, knowledgeable, charming - all the features of someone destined for success. But Eduardo is also cautious, and caring to a fault. He waits and strategizes until the stars align and everything falls into place. Eduardo sells his oil futures when he is supposed to, cashes out, and thinks no more of it.  
  
His father always chastised him on his tendency to avoid conflict and risk, to look for a smooth path instead if he could help it. But Eduardo doesn't understand why he's being encouraged to butt heads. There is nothing wrong with conventional beauty, or doing things the right and decent way. When a wave comes crashing down, he'd expect the normal thing to do is run unless you want to get soaked and swept away.   
  
Eduardo stands on his own two feet and says to his father he won't be lost at sea. He goes to Harvard holding onto this thought, feeling like an island with no neighbours, just a cool wind and midnight waters.

* * *

He starts out simple, joining Harvard's Investment Association and a fraternity. He studies in his single diligently, thoughtfully, carefully. He goes out just enough to make it count, to go through the handshakes, smile enough to make an impression. He's social because it's easy for him with his wide eyes and soft laughs. He climbs through the Investment Association steadily like the numbers in his phone.  
  
That comes to a halt when he meets Mark. Mark to Eduardo somehow is not easy but an unforeseen storm, rocking him on his axis, sweeping his calm waters into disarray. He momentarily forgets his plans and gets pulled into Mark's gravity. Mark, who doesn't seem to care about who follows him when he has a great or stupid idea. Mark, who defies convention and says no when he should be on his knees begging yes. Mark, who doesn't fall for Eduardo's charm and scoffs at his carefully crafted daily routines because life moves too quickly to be predicted and crushed into textbooks. Mark, who Eduardo is so taken to because he is everything Eduardo is not and parts who his father wished he could emulate.

* * *

Mark doesn't take to Eduardo as easily, but Eduardo is persistent and he makes Kirkland his home. Mark is brilliant and he can tell Eduardo is too so he acquiesces. They fall into a sweet rhythm, a predictable hum of back and forth, a balance without a tipping point. Eduardo orders pizza while Mark codes. Eduardo drags Mark to parties he doesn't want to go to and Mark makes them leave fashionably early. Eduardo stays when Mark stays, eyes glued to his computer with no end in sight.  
  
Eduardo figures the algorithm is another one of those times. He offers something and Mark will give his version of a return in time. Just as important, in Mark-speak. What he gets back is theFacebook; it's Eduardo's tipping point. It's huge, scary, moving faster than Eduardo can plan for, but Mark is confident and that's enough for Eduardo. Being CFO is different. All the knowledge in the world doesn't prepare him for this, but Eduardo tries his best as he's always done, fights for the right avenues, holds his own weight down.  
  
Instead he is belittled and forgotten and the waters in Eduardo's soul are fierce, angry. Mark-speak is saying that Mark is walking things back, that he's outlived his usefulness and this is as high as they will go. Eduardo takes his shot, and closes the bank account. Your move, he thinks in the moment stubbornly.  
  
Mark takes the rules of their relationship and tears it apart. He goes all in with a faint poker face, and ups the ante when all Eduardo can do is fold.  
  
Eduardo isn't good enough to play at this table. Mark thinks that, and Eduardo is certain his father would say exactly the same, how. Eduardo doesn't ever bet big, and of course when he finally did he was naive and lost it all in one hand. So Eduardo decides to abandon the game instead, to start over from scratch and turn the tables. It feels like he's lost - because he has, but Eduardo wants to fill the gaps in his soul, because the waves are bogged down but angry with nowhere to go except looking for Mark. Mark who has left him for dead. When he files the lawsuit, Eduardo aims to do the same right back to Mark.

* * *

In the end, none of it was ever enough. The dried ink on the settlement papers, the astronomical number of shares in his account, his name begrudgingly taped back onto the masthead.  
  
He always dreams of an apology - would it be snarly, bitten up, chewed and spit out? Would it be feeble and quiet, as if it never happened? Would it come with the afterthought Mark cannot contain, walking back what Eduardo can only characterize as an inability to regret? He knows if it comes after today, it wouldn't be marred by oaths and words being sliced and diced. It would be as close to the truth as he can get, and Eduardo thinks he deserves that still. He would have apologized too, but Eduardo figures it's his turn to be stubborn. Mark takes first and gives second; Eduardo wants the tides to turn in his favour.  
  
The waves of their friendship calm with a crashing silence and Eduardo senses faint sea foam dissipating in the distance, wiping their slate clean. Somewhere in his heart, Eduardo knows he can raise the stakes again. The highs will come back, and he fears the lows can go even lower.  
  
He walks out of the conference room in between lawyers, eyes cast away but just once, he allows his gaze to flicker to Mark's side, wonders if it's too late to hope when they're on the precipice of the end.  
  
Mark's absentmindedly doodling on his notepad, but Eduardo can tell he's avoiding him too.  
  
The door closes behind him, quietly.

**Author's Note:**

> I've always adored this fandom and wanted to get back into writing a bit more. Happy 10 years to TSN.


End file.
